Christmas

Christmas was a great weekend - spent in 3 towns, with 3 different parts of our families, in two different states, under 30 hours. With kids nearly 3 and 20 months - it's a long weekend.
It was fun - and we got a ton of wonderful gifts (and the usual few odd gifts that make you go hmmm) and were really blessed.
It was a lot easier and a lot harder to not have Olive around than I expected.
It was in one way easier, because had she been home - this might have just been too much for her.
So, in some way - it was probably better that she wasn't put through so much chaos just days after getting home to her new family and life.

But, in others ways, it was harder for me than I expected.
I found my mind wondering off frequently wishing she was here with us, thinking about how she might have been reacting, and wishing she was opening gifts beside our two other kids.
I kept thinking about how she has missed so much in her little life already - and how I really wanted her there to meet her aunts and uncles from out of town. And how she won't meet any of her great grandparents or extended family until the spring now.

I kept wondering about how she looked as a baby, and thinking about if her (birth) momma did anything special for Christmas or holidays before she gave her to the orphanage...

It makes me sad she's missed out on so much.
But, I am so happy that we are just 4 weeks from bringing her home.
I am praying that it is a very fast, and very productive four weeks for us.
I am praying that the 3 weeks we're in Serbia are very pleasant and that our children will do fine with out us...
I am thanking God in advance for the day that "this" is all over, and we can get to being a family.

One of the most special gifts we got this Christmas was a picture of Olive from our facilitator :)
It was SO thoughtful for her to send us one, and I am so thankful.
Olive is getting SO big. I can actually see her growing in every picture, getting a little chubbier and showing more life in every subsequent one...
Especially this one

I've said it before - but it's bittersweet.
Bitter - because we're missing it, and every new picture I get means that she's still not here with us. But, sweet because we can see that she is doing okay. And she is growing, and she is 'in there'. I can't wait to love on her.