A prayer to God

Oh Father forgive me my excesses!
Forgive me my temper tantrums over not getting what I want. Forgive me my worry over getting my fair share.
Continue to give me a heart big enough to feel the pain of the ones that are crying out!
Lead me to do what I can, what you want.
Lead me Father to humbleness and gratefulness beyond human comprehension.
Lead me to have a heart like Yours!
And still Father I pray that you
Continue to bless me with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships; so that I may live deep within my heart.
Continue to bless me with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people; so that I may work for justice, freedom, and peace.
Continue to bless me with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war; so that I may reach out my hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy.
Continue to bless me with enough foolishness to believe that I can make a difference in this world; so that I can do what others claim cannot be done!
Continue to soften the hearts of people who can go to bed at night, still worried about getting their fair share. And bless them with the blessings you've given me.
I ask this in your Holy Name Jesus,

AMEN

Hope Community

We just got good news about our adoption process.
The issue we thought we were going to have to jump hurdles for - wasn't even mentioned in our first home study!
and isn't an issue at all!
Hallelujah!

That means that as soon as our Initial Family Profile is accepted by Olive's social worker in her country,
We can send in our commitment money, and officially start the process here!

We have the commitment money for Olive,
and will be short for our Home Study Fee's
But, I'm confident that God will work it out.
Either by the many items we have to sell, a wedding contract, a forgotten rebate, extra money in the budget...
How ever He does it, it's always a surprise, and it's always so good, and so God!

Canceled Cable

We have canceled cable in our house.
It was a hard thing to do, because Ethan loves cartoons, and Karl and I LOVE the movie channels.
But, it was a good decision.
We want the kids to play like kids this summer, and not try and veg in front of the TV,
and it's saving us about $60 a month that we'll be able to put towards Olive's adoption.

We're waiting for a copy of our foster home study - to see what all it entails.
What's in it will determine our next step.

Please cover us in prayer.
I can't give real specific details, but if you could pray for protection over our process.
and wisdom in who we choose to help us do our paperwork.
That would be wonderful!

Gifts

Karl and I got to enjoy a night at his parent's cottage.
I spent a lot of the time reading "Gifts - Mothers Reflect on How Children with Down Syndrome Enrich Their Lives" by Kathryn Lynard Soper.
It is an easy read.
Anyone having a child with Down syndrome biologically would really enjoy this book.
A lot of it does not pertain to adopting an older child with DS - but it did reinforce my view of what a blessing it will be.

Great News!

God has heard us, and he has answered!
Thank you Lord! you are so wonderful!

We received the most wonderful news today!
From our state-side coordinator:

"Our facilitator is taking new commitments again. She has 2 families that will be traveling in May...possibly 3. We've had one new comittment this month, with 2 more expected in the next week if things go well. So, the program is moving forward. They "close" in the summer because the adoption officials go on vacation, so after May, no new dossiers can be sent to Serbia until September. But, that gives you pleanty of time to get everything done.
I will send your family profile to our facilitator and have her ask Olive's social worker to approve you. As soon as we have an official approval, that will be when you send the promise trust money to Andrea and are marked "matched".
Our facilitator said that Olive's paper work has already been started to register her for international adoption and she's expecting it to be completed soon. So, she will be happy to know that a family is ready to commit to her.
I'll send your family profile tonight and let you know as soon as I hear anything."

Thank you Lord!

Lord, I know my faith has waivered. I've sobbed, and grieved, not trusting you to pull through. But, you are GOD. And I'm learning that. Thank you for so much grace. Thank you for Olive. Thank you for bringing us another daughter. Lord, please forgive me of my sins, and my overly emotional heart. Please protect Olive as she waits for us. Prepare her heart for a momma and a daddy, a sister and a brother. Comfort and protect her as she waits. And Lord, please protect our process. Please help things to go smoothly, and bless those who have blessed us. Amen

Pictures...

I have pictures of the last week:

Evelyn decided to put a bowl of pasta on her head. This was the result:

Piggy tails

Adoption Networking Cards

I have made adoption networking cards for Olive.

Second Baby Syndrome

Evelyn has a very serious case of second baby syndrome.

It's a really horrible affliction.

Symptoms include:
- your mother not planning a big 1st birthday party
- your mom and dad forgetting their camera for your very small birthday party
- your 2 year old brother trying cheetos for the first time at age 2, and you on the same day, at just over 1.
- your brother's first french fry, his 1st birthday weekend, yours.... as soon as you could hold it
- when your brother was a baby, the house was always clean, he was always dressed and lookin' good, always bathed, and eating only organic, vegan foods, and learned baby sign language... with you, the house is almost always cluttered, you're found running around half naked most of the time, you shower with mom or dad when you're dirty or stinky, and you have tried chips, cheetos, french fries, cake, and ice-cream by the time you were one. I'd say 'baby sign language', you'd say 'what's that?'

Needless to say - we love her just the same... and some times the second baby syndrome is worse than other times...
But, little momma, don't take it as a reflection of our love, and adoration of your incredibly cute, bubbly little personality. We couldn't love you more.

A little about Evelyn, aged 1:

She absolutely loves 'nursery rhymes' on demand, it's like her all-time most exciting treat
She has 7 1/2 teeth, one is still about 1/2 way up.
She is showing no signs of walking any time soon.
She shows she likes you by throwing her head back and going 'ugh'... you do it back and forth, it's a little game
She gave me intentional kisses for the first time last week
She loves fruit, crackers, nursing, and soy toddler formula... and she surprisingly really likes cold peas
She says "bite" and "ditty" (daddy), and makes a lot of enthusiastic noises and grunts to get her point across
Her favorite person is her Bumpa, my dad
She LOVES the bath, especially when she gets it all to herself
She likes to jump in her jumper with a babydoll to hug
She's not married off yet like Ethan was at this age, but we're accepting applications

8%!!!

We have reached 8% with the help of our garage sale and a few generous donators.
You couldn't know the joy I have writing that unless you've been where we are now, trying to raise an enormous amount of money to save your child from a horrendous fate.
We are waiting word from our facilitators state side and countryside on whether or not they are going to be willing to look at our initial paperwork.
Please help to cover us in prayer as things are still "in the air".
But we are walking in faith and completely trusting God in where ever he takes us in this journey.
I know some people have reservations donating to help us financially with our initial costs while things are still unstable.
So if that is the case, please consider the fact that no matter what happens, your family's donation will be used to help save an orphan from instutionalization. God forbid we're not able to adopt Olive fore some reason, all donations will be used to help us adopt from another (more stable) country. Should He close the door completely, all donations will be given to sponsor an orphan at Reeces Rainbow.
If you are wanting to make a tax deductible donation specifically to Olive, which stays with her irreguardless to who adopts her, please go to reecesrainbow.org and look for Olive's name under the European gallery found at the bottom if the home page.
I'd like to give a heartfelt thank you to everyone who has donated to and prayed for us.
It means so much.

My boys...

Karl and Ethan are having their first slumber party together.

They're sleeping on the floor down stairs, and watching 'Kitty and Mouse'... Tom & Jerry.

Karl felt he and Ethan needed a little bonding time.

It's too cute.

1/2 Day Garage Sale

The garage sale went pretty well today. We have about a half hour to go still, but we made $180 in sales and donations! Pretty good for a half day!
We are hoping tomorrow is going to be our big sale day. We are serving hotdog lunches for $3 between 11:00-1:00.
It's been really awesome to talk with other foster and adoptive parents.
God is good!

Life is not good sometimes...

I'm pretty sure I just miscarried, and Ethan pooped in the bath tub.

I wasn't aware that I could be pregnant yet, so I'm not sure how I even feel about it.

But either way... not the best day.

In memory..

The poem below was written by another adoptive mom of special needs children, who has seen an institution first hand-thanks Meredith for sharing it with us all, and reminding us of our blessings and their needs, and why special needs adoption is close to God's heart.

While we were... in memory

"While we were eating... ... they were hungry
While we were playing... ... they were restrained
While we were tucking our kids into bed... ... they were alone
While we turned up the heat... ... they laid in the icy cold
While we wrapped our children in blanket sleepers... ... they laid in their own excrement
While we sang songs and listened to music... ... they listened to the screams and cries of those around them
While we rocked our babies... ... they silently rocked themselves
While we hugged our kids... ... they scratched at their own faces and pulled their own hair for stimulation
While we cried over scraped knees... ... they moaned in their loneliness
While we brushed our daughters' beautiful hair... ... they had their heads shaven to stave off the lice
While we fought off the flu with love and nourishment... ... they got the flu and went Home.
No longer suffering... but so many more still are.

In memory of those that have never felt the love of a family, but have passed away alone. "

2%!

We have raised 2%!

I know it doesn't sound like much, but it's a good start!

Although, I better kick up the saving efforts, and post some stuff for sale, because at this rate I'll take us 5 1/2 years - lol!

This touched me, so I wanted to share it:

"When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her. It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed. We have refused to be instruments of love in the hands of God to give the poor a piece of bread, to offer them a dress with which to ward off the cold. It has happened because we did not recognize Christ when, once more, he appeared the the guise of pain, identified with a man numb from the cold, dying of hunger, when he came in a lonely human being, in a lost child in search of a home?" --Mother Teresa

When people get on my case about being that crazy lady who saves every hurt or stray animal, bends over backwards to help people in need, especially children, and sometimes even makes her family a little uncomfortable at times to serve other people - this is why.

See?

Life isn't all about YOU, is isn't all about ME, and it is most certainly NOT all about being COMFORTABLE!

Imagine where you would be if Jesus was all about living comfortably...

Trusting God...

Even thought the program is rumored to be open again this summer, we are so afraid to emotionally commit and put our hearts out there until the program opens.
But, in some ways we just have to... because not doing so suggests that we don't trust God fully.
And we do.
We are holding off on starting a home study and the paperwork still, but are preparing by flier-ing for our garage sale, and starting to work on our swamp of a back yard.
I've had strep throat the past couple of days, but I'm feeling mostly better today.

Our plan is to get the basement organized (full of garage sale stuff) and the backyard leaves removed.
If we have time, we'd also like to rent a pump, and start pumping out the swamp water.
I'm thankful that it's spring break for Karl and that I'll have him and my dad to help with this massive project.

Olive's 3rd birthday was the 5th. It's hard knowing that she's not having a 'proper' birthday party, like she could have had here.
But, soon enough!

While sick and laid up, I made some things to sell for Olive. I am going to wash them up soon.

We're praying that God will open doors like he so wonderfully did the first couple weeks, and that He will protect Olive and our journey to get her...

Birthdays...

It's my daughter's birthday tomorrow.

And probably not the daughter you're thinking of...

Olive turns three tomorrow.

I am waiting to hear if I can send her a gift at her orphanage.

I highly doubt it, but if I can, I'd like to send her some new clothes, a blankie, and a lovie.

I wish so badly that I could just fly over there right now and go get her.

I hate all the red tape.

To me it's so simple: A child is suffering in an orphanage and needs a home, there are parents who have already been qualified for the state's children willing to take that child home, so cut the crap and get the kid home!

Apparently that's not how it goes though.

On the other hand I have a respite foster baby next to me.

She is the snottiest, fussiest baby.

She does NOT like being away from her momma, and spends about 75% of the day crying for her.

She is very cute! Just not the happiest of babies.

Great news!

Our coordinator said that they expect the program to be up and running at the end of the summer!
So - Goal for this summer?
Raise funds!
Also, pray pray pray that the devil will not be able to get his hands on this situation at all.
So, the Garage sale is still on!

Can't let go..

Karl and I have been looking over all these beautiful children's faces that need adopted.
Some of them already in an institution, and some of them close to being there...
and yet we just don't have peace about committing to another child.
I wish we could.
I wouldn't say we have peace about NOT committing, as it's heartbreaking and I can't stop thinking about all their little faces, and all their little lives wasting away in an orphanage with out a mamma and daddy...
But, I just don't feel like I can give up on Olive yet.
We are going to save money for Olive, so when we get to the point where we're ready to get the paperwork going again, money is not as much of an issue.
During all of this wretched waiting - we will be praying that her country will get a stable adoption protocol, and resume taking dossiers.
There are so many pieces of this puzzle that could go wrong, but it's all I can do.